I'm dreaming...

Running across water, gliding through restless whirlpools.
Dumped forward in brutal thrusts towards an abysmal chasm of iridescence.
The girl’s burdened frame blunders along, pupils attached to greatness and vision.
When gazing upon the beauty, her steps are dreamy and luminous,
skipping gleefully over the raging shadows.

She looks down and sees the nervous hesitation of an awkward reflection,
immediately paralyzed by unrecognized fears and misunderstood desires.
Her steps falter. She falls—swallowed by lies, suffocated by deceit.
Oh, how pressing are the waves.
Rising up again and again to overwhelm and defeat.
Wet slaps of misery hysterically shouting their victory.
A gnashing merry-go-round of throbbing blue.
The winds ridicule her fears, beating her soul into defeat.
Their relentless chorus of mockery seductively gnaws away at her faith.
Her throat is drowning, struggling to cry out to the distant light.

I see the fingers, even though they seem so far away. And I believe in their love.
[Beautifully written by my poetic friend, Mistertee]

Since my years in junior high, I knew what I wanted to “achieve” in life. Through my fiery baptism of the spring of 1992, I found my passion, my dream, my calling if you will. It was my great vision given from above.
But I kept it private. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t fleeting, temporal, impulsive… selfish. Over the years, I’ve watched this seed of passion grow and take root in me- deeper and deeper. My heart, mind and soul were aching for this dreamy and luminous vision.
Unfortunately, in grad school I hesitated, faltered, and fell. My dream faded into the periphery as the means became my end. The foolishness of this world became wisdom to me. And I started to drown.
Today in church I was powerfully reminded of my passion, my dream. Why I had followed the path that I have. Why I find myself here today.

I have no job.
Yet, God’s calling is working through me even now.
I have no permanent housing.
Yet, my soul has found rest.
I have no home church.
Yet, I am so encouraged to see fingers of love stretched across this city.

And how sweet it is!

*~*To God alone be glory—Soli Deo Gloria*~*

We got to pray, just to make it today~

Years ago, as I lay sick in my Yonsei dormitory bed, a girl I had only met a few weeks ago came to my bedside and prayed for me. After saying Amen, I tried to discreetly wipe away the tears—I was so touched.

Tonight as I was about to get off the phone with a friend in New Jersey, she asked if she could pray for me. Together we prayed and I was so blessed. April~ Thank you for your encouragement.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present
your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

Heem Nae!!!~

After an eight hour minivan road trip, countless toll roads, driving through the heart of NYC and Baltimore, and the beautiful sights of Delaware, I finally made it to DC! With U2 and Mariah blasting from the speakers, club Esther was on the road rockin' away~

I made it to my new place--- just in time for a huge thundering storm that pelted me and my hired help while we moved in my boxes. Needless to say, I was soaking wet at the end and all my new roommate could do was laugh while handing me a towel. DC definitely gave me a memorable welcome.

Since my arrival, I've enjoyed a lazy afternoon out in Linden winery, enjoyed the Fourth of July in Georgetown, and browsed the stalls of Eastern Market for fresh produce. I've zipped out to Annandale for Korean food and groceries, grooved to live music at Rumba Cafe and sampled the tasty tapas at Mantis.

But the best thing is when friends host get togethers or parties at their homes-- or better yet even cook for you. I was a lucky recipient of an invitation to such a dinner party- the grand-daddy of all dinners because it was at the home of my friend Ron. (Cheryl- this is for you!~) He started us out with fresh mozzerella balls drizzled with olive oil, pepper and herbs. Then proceeded to stuff the remaining mozzerella balls into squash blossums (edible flowers) and lightly fried them to a crispy golden brown. Delicioso! Then the main course followed which consisted of roasted vegetables with fresh herbs and a whole rainbow trout for each guest that was seasoned with herbs, crushed almonds, lemon and garnished with fresh home made pesto sauce made from fresh arugula. Finally for dessert, he presented hot chocolate molten cake topped with fresh raspberries. Soooo goooood! I had to practially roll myself out his front door like a bowling ball :)

In ways like this, God is constantly encouraging me, surrounding me, blessing me during this transition. I am sweetly reminded of my community of friends outside of DC through the thoughtful phone calls from my old college roommate, Ellen "KB" who lives in NYC. Go ma wuh, Youn Shin-ah~

Watch out DC! Esther is in da' House!! (gotta pump myself up for the impending battles...)